Fault
by gleebles
Summary: OneShot: The Kurt and Blaine talk after Karofsky's suicide attempt. Rated T for mentions of suicide. BlainexKurt Please review!


**gleebles A/N; **Ughh, anyone else feeling anxious for August 10th? How about excited that Blaine's going to be singing _Someone That I Used To Know_? I know I am! Let's hope this helps ease the wait! :)

**Warning!; **Mentions of attempted suicide. Read at your own risk!

_Fault._

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><p>Kurt slowly stood up, his face chalky and ashen.<p>

"Kurt," Mr. Schue warned. "Why don't you take a seat?"

"Is this a joke?" Kurt asked, his voice higher than usual. He was shaking from head to toe.

"Mr. Hummel," Principal Figgins spoke sympathetically, "I understand that you probably have mixed feelings about this. You know as well as we do that David had been struggling to accept himself—"

"I-Is he okay?" Kurt cut him off. His eyes were growing red.

Figgins pursed his lips and nodded.

"He will be."

Kurt stared at his principal for quite some time. His shoulders, which had tightened ever since he was called to the principal's office, sagged. Then, he turned to Mr. Schue.

"How did his parents…?" he asked slowly, trailing off.

Mr. Schuester seemed to understand the meaning behind the incomplete question. He glanced down into his hands, lacing and unlacing his fingers.

"His father found him, Kurt. He saved his life."

Kurt swallowed. His complexion grew more pallid.

"Kurt, you should really sit down—" Mr. Schue began, standing.

"How did he do it?" Kurt asked and crossed his arms securely in front of his torso. He wasn't going to sit.

"Kurt, are these questions really—?"

"I want to know," Kurt replied, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. He stared Mr. Schue down and his teacher's expression softened slightly.

"He…" Will took a deep breath, hoping the pause would help brace Kurt for what he was about to say next, "tried to…hang himself."

The two men watched the young boy swallow again. His eyes fell to his feet and then he readjusted his messenger bag.

"Mr. Hummel, if you need to talk to someone—" Figgins spoke softly, but Kurt cut him off again.

"I'll be okay," assured Kurt. He didn't even have the strength to fake a smile. He simply nodded to no one in general and walked out.

Floating like a zombie toward the choir room, Kurt found it hard to breathe. His eyes stared fixated on a spot at the end of the hallway and his feet moved forward automatically.

Karofsky had attempted suicide. He tried to hang himself.

He wanted to kill himself.

The words filtered in and out of Kurt's mind, trying to situate the information in a place that could make sense of it.

He had tried to end his life because of the torment.

Of course, Kurt understood completely. The bullying, hatred, taunts…they were too hard for one person to handle alone. Kurt had his father, Carole, Finn, Blaine…all of New Directions. He had people to help him through those dark times. Kurt remembered the time when a thought of escaping the bullying first presented itself in front of him.

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><p>He had just come home from school and found Carole folding laundry in the living room. She was watching the news and didn't hear him come up.<p>

"Need any help?" he asked and she jumped, startled. He smiled sweetly at her and placed his bag on the couch.

"Kurt!" she cried, clutching her heart. "You almost gave me a heart attack."

"Please don't," he said, quite seriously. "I don't know what would happen if _both _my parents had bad hearts."

"Just a figure of speech," Carole replied warmly. The fact that Kurt had referred to her as his mother made her insides turn to mush. "How was school?"

"The usual," Kurt shrugged, folding one of his dad's flannel button-ups. This wasn't technically a lie. The usual _was_ Karofsky slamming him into lockers and calling him 'lady-boy.' Plus, Kurt had Blaine and the New Directions for support. He didn't need to worry his family, especially his father, with pointless bullying from a kid who was confused about his sexuality. "How was your day?"

"Fine," Carole replied breezily. "I have a funny story for you."

"Do tell," Kurt encouraged and mentally prepared himself for the wild escapade his stepmother had in store for him.

Carole gave him a knowing smile.

"Your father," she began, which was her equivalent of 'once upon a time' considering all her stories involved Burt in one way or another, "forgot to bring his lunch to the shop today. So I called and asked if he wanted me to bring it to him, but he said he would grab a bite from the 7-11 across the street. I knew you wouldn't be happy about that."

"No, not at all," Kurt frowned, unhappy with his father's half-hearted attempt at dieting. "Continue."

"So," Carole began again, "I told him that there was no way I was going to let him have a package of _powdered doughnuts_ and a _slim jim_ for lunch," she said disapprovingly.

Kurt smiled at her and, about to fold another teeshirt of Finn's, glanced at the TV. Then, although Carole had continued with her story, his attention shifted completely to the screen that had just finished a segment on rising gas prices and begun a new report.

Kurt's heart hammered in his chest as he stared at the words under the anchor.

** Breaking News: Portland Gay Teen Posts Suicide On Web.**

"_After years of bullying, Elliot Garcia kills himself on a live streaming website. After swallowing a number of unidentified pills, the thirteen year old says goodbye to his family and admits that nothing they could've done or said would've made a difference. He addresses his tormenters in the video, expressing his hatred and how would haunt them. The video continued as Elliot laid on his bed to drift off. The police showed up later in the live feed, seconds too late to save poor Elliot's life. Reports state that more than 20,000 people had been active in the chat of the streaming video before someone called 911."_

Carole had stopped talking when she noticed her stepson's lack of interest. His wide, shocked, gray-blue eyes stared, his mouth hung open, and his hands, which had been folding his father's jeans, balled tightly into fists. She too watched the TV screen.

After that last disturbing fact, she reached over for the remote and switched it off.

But Kurt's eyes stared unblinkingly at the now-black screen. Words flitted across his mind.

_Years of bullying._

_Unidentified pills._

_Goodbye to his family._

_Addresses his tormentors._

_Seconds too late._

_Thirteen-year-old._

_20,000._

"Kurt?" Carole asked, standing from her spot on the couch. Kurt glanced at her.

"I hope you don't mind, but I'd like to be alone," Kurt replied softly, placing the clothes in the basket and turning.

That night after dinner, as he stared unblinkingly at the ceiling above his bed, Kurt thought about Elliot.

No hope.

The kid had no hope left. All he felt was despair. He saw nothing else but darkness. There was no help, no support, no 'it gets better,' no light at the end of the tunnel…

No wonder the idea of taking a few pills to fall into a peaceful oblivion had appealed to him.

But Kurt never, not once, thought of doing it himself. If he did, he might as well have killed his father first, because Burt's heart wouldn't be able to handle his son's death. He could never do that to his father.

And, however dark a place he was in, he could never do that to himself.

"Kurt?"

Kurt glanced up. He was already in the choir room. Standing by the piano, he watched as Finn began towards him.

"Kurt, what's the matter?" he asked, placing his hands on Kurt's shoulders.

Kurt looked around the choir room. Rachel and Mercedes were half-sitting half-standing, staring him worriedly, Quinn held a hand to her chest, even Santana looked concerned.

Blaine was standing, shifting his weight back and forth. He looked as if he wanted to comfort Kurt, but wasn't sure if this was a family matter or not, so he hung back, allowing Finn to take over.

"Finn, please take a seat."

Everyone's gaze shifted to Mr. Schuester as he entered the room, looking quite somber.

"Not until someone tells me what's going on," Finn continued. "What's wrong with Kurt?"

"I'm getting to that," Will continued, using authority in his tone. "Take a seat."

Finn hesitated and glanced back at his classmates.

"Kurt," Mr. Schue addressed him. "Maybe you should go see Ms. Pillsbury."

Kurt shook his head and Finn turned back to him, his protectiveness back in full force.

"Go with Blaine," Will suggested. "This isn't information you need to hear again."

At this, Kurt glanced up into his teacher's eyes. Then, he nodded. Finn looked slightly hurt.

"Blaine," called their teacher and gestured for Kurt's boyfriend to join them. Blaine scurried over and placed an arm around Kurt.

"Alright, take a seat, Finn. I'm going to explain in a second."

Finn gave his brother one more hard stare and Kurt managed a reassuring nod at him. This seemed to soothe Finn a bit and he rejoined his fiancée.

Blaine, his arm still around Kurt, steered him out of the choir room.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked once they were in the hall. "The auditorium?"

Kurt nodded.

They were silent the entire time Blaine led Kurt to the large, dimly lighted room. They both took a seat in the front row.

"Okay," Blaine started, lifting the armrest that separated their two chairs and grasped Kurt's hands in his slightly clammy ones. "What's going on?"

And with that, Kurt broke down.

After long minutes of tears and hiccups, he proceeded to tell Blaine everything Mr. Figgins and Mr. Schue had told him.

Blaine listened, his eyebrows furrowed, his mouth opened, and a sad look gracing his features. He did not interrupt until Kurt had finished talking and started to cry again.

"Oh Kurt," Blaine sympathized and wrapped his arms around him. They hugged for quite some time before Kurt pulled away to wipe his face.

"I just feel…so bad for him. He had no support at all."

"I know," Blaine nodded and felt himself feel affected by those words. He understood that feeling completely.

"Blaine," Kurt stared, his eyes red, into Blaine's hazel eyes, "I would _never _do that—"

"I know," Blaine said with a slight smile. "Me either. Never."

Kurt nodded.

A silence passed over them and Kurt sat back, exhaling loudly.

"I think...he did it because of me."

Silence.

And within that silence, Blaine felt unhinged, rattled to the core. He thought Kurt was so upset because it was a wake up call for him to realize the emotional state of his loved ones. He thought Kurt was worrying about Blaine doing something like that.

But never would Blaine expect Kurt to feel responsible for the suicide attempt of a classmate.

"Why?" Blaine asked, nearly breathless. "Kurt, this is _not _your fault!"

"He asked me out."

Blaine felt an abrupt surge of emotions as he stared at Kurt.

"_What? _When?"

"On Valentine's Day," Kurt replied emptily. He inhaled and told the story about the cards all week long, the gorilla gram, Karofsky's confession, his response, and the encounter of Nick. He felt fresh tears swim in his eyes as he continued to recall the calls. All those unanswered calls during all hours of the day.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Blaine asked, feeling deeply hurt by this information Kurt had chosen to hide from him.

"I thought it would just upset you," mumbled Kurt, picking at his fingernails. "It was Valentine's Day..."

"Yeah, but _Kurt,_ come on! I would've understood!"

Kurt nodded and rubbed at his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he sniffed. He didn't want to start crying again, but it seemed inevitable. On top of this, Blaine was now mad at him. But he had every right to.

"Regardless," Blaine continued, his voice still colored with a hint of betrayal, "this is not your fault."

"I was the only person he could count on. The only person he felt comfortable confiding in. I was his _only _support, Blaine," Kurt started, his voice rising in volume as he got more and more emotional, "and I took that away from him."

"Did you shove him into a locker?"

Kurt hesitated.

"What?"

"You heard me," Blaine continued, softly. "Did you shove David into a locker?"

Kurt blinked and shook his head in confusion.

"No."

"Did you call him nasty names?"

Now Kurt knew where he was going with this.

"Blaine…"

"Did you?"

Kurt stared at him, expressionless.

"No."

"Did you toss a slushy in his face or accuse him of staring in the locker room or call him a fag?"

"No, but—"

"This is not your fault," Blaine shifted his seating, creating a more intimate space. He stared at Kurt intently. "It was Karofsky's decision and his classmates' and teammates' fault…Kurt," Blaine squeezed his hands, "I wouldn't lie to you."

They stared at each other and allowed a silence to pass by. In the quiet, they heard the auditorium make odd, mechanical noises which only complimented the lack of human voice and amplified the intensity of their conversation.

Very slowly, Kurt nodded.

"I sure didn't help though."

"Neither did I," replied Blaine quickly. "Neither did his mom or dad or teachers or classmates or Mr. Schue or Tina or Artie or Puck…the thing about suicide is that _no one _thinks it'll happen. Especially not to people we know. We had no idea Karofsky was that bad."

Something Blaine said had finally resonated within Kurt and he stared down at their linked hands.

"Okay," he mumbled. "But promise me."

Blaine hesitated.

"Promise you what?"

"Promise you won't ever do that."

Blaine, although feeling that the request was unnecessary and a bit dramatic, nodded for Kurt's sake.

"I promise. I swear, Kurt. Never."

His boyfriend nodded and looked up. He leaned forward and placed a peck on his boyfriend's lips.

Blaine kissed him back sweetly.

"Are you ready to go back?" said Blaine lowly.

Kurt, taking a deep breath, nodded.

They both stood and moved toward the hallway.

School had ended for the day, but plenty of students were still on campus for various reasons: waiting for their ride home, collecting books from their lockers, socializing, heading off to different clubs and sports. They stared as Blaine and Kurt walked by; although they never engaged in PDA, the school knew they were gay and dating. The fact that Kurt's eyes were red and his face was blotchy didn't help the gazes.

Then, Blaine reached over and took Kurt's hand.

Kurt glanced over at him, feeling the automatic pull of his hand, not wanting the stares or remarks. Especially now, of all times, but Blaine held firm.

"I'm not afraid of them," Blaine replied and Kurt stared back. "I said I promise. Nothing anyone says or does will break that promise."

Blaine gave the smallest of smiles and awaited Kurt's response. He squeezed his hand again and raised his dark eyebrows.

"I'm not afraid either," Kurt spoke in a minute voice, returning the small smile and squeeze.

They made it to the choir room, where inside Mr. Schue was speaking to them about the tragedy, but assuring that Dave would be okay.

And so would they.

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><p><strong>gleebles; <strong>Please review, favorite, alert gleebles, whatever! Any feedback at all is appreciated! :)


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